Fitness: Cardio no no.

I know myself well. I'll tell myself I feel out of shape. I'll complain that I don't have enough energy. I'll notice that I can't run for more than a minute without feeling wheezy. And yet that's not enough to kick myself into gear.

On the other hand, there's one thing I know to act upon: When my mind gets overwhelmed with repetitive thoughts and frustrations, I need to run it off or suffer the consequences of mood swings.

Funny how I can handle feeling physically unfit but can't cope with any means of mental madness. We pick our battles, I suppose.

After feeling frustrated with work again today, I decided I should go for a jog to clear my mind and test my abilities.

Here was the extent of my work out: - Jog: 2.5 minutes - Walk: 1 minute - Jog: 1 minute - Walk: 1 minute - Jog: 1 minute - Walk: 1 minute - Jog: 1 minute - Walk: 1 minute - Jog: 30 seconds

A little math: That's 6 minutes of jogging and 4 minutes of walking.

Results? I almost collapsed and even thought I might spew!

Verdict: PATHETIC.

Physically, I was surprised at how my body reacted. For some reason, the very back of my throat seemed to swell up quickly and I seemed to salivate like an over-enticed Pavlovian pup. I know, I know - too much information? I don't quite understand why my body would react this way though, so I'm throwing it out there to see if anyone else has experienced such a thing? My throat tightened up and my lungs immediately felt wheezy.

I know very well that this isn't completely unnatural for someone who hasn't done cardio in years and years (really). In the past, I've kicked my ass into gear with weight training - lost 15 pounds, had ripper abs and little to no body fat... and yet, I've never really enforced any sort of cardio upon myself because it seems to be a lot harder for me to commit to.

I really do want to achieve some cardio goals though. Especially seeing how much of a weakness it is for me. I can't ignore that I was a really physically active kid - playing soccer, baseball, basketball and swimming up until the age of 15 when I dropped all my active efforts and traded them in for kicking around the city and smoking with my friends. Equally pathetic, I know. Since then I really haven't done too much in the way of sports or cardio.

I didn't intend to make any commitments when I sat down to write this, but clearly I can't finish this entry without realizing there is room for some fruitful efforts here. This seems to be something I am eager to change and despite the physical difficulties I'm experiencing, I know I will feel great if I commit to a few running sessions a week.

I can do it! I know I can.