At the time I had been kicked out of the Communications program, for my lack of a competitive grade-point average, and had settled into the Film program. I had a passion for Film, but I wasn't exactly sure if it was the right program for my high hopes of a fast-tracking career path. I knew that I could pull off the degree - watching and writing about movies was definitely the way for me to avoid having to waste hard-earned money on dropping or failing out of classes.
When Much appeared, I thought 'oh shit - this is my chance to go after my dream career of being a public personality!'. I watched as the performers took the stage and found myself in awe of their ability to stand before an audience and 'act a fool'. I was not yet in a personal place where I felt comfortable being myself in front of a crowd of people - even the act of watching their awkwardness unfold terrified me a little. I quickly told myself that it wasn't my time - that I had to secure my degree and, in the meantime, challenge myself with the right experience in order to be comfortable on-stage and on screen before an audience.
4 years later - I had a degree in Film and a wealth of personal experience that bestowed me with self confidence and determination to go after my still burning desire to become a public personality. Every so often I'd check out the Much Music site to see if and when the next VJ search might come about... and on February 27th, 2009 I found that opportunity staring me in the eyes! An open call was taking place the very next day for wannabes to show up at Much Music on Queen street to show themselves off and make an impression. It came at a perfect time - I was nearing the end of my contract with Telefilm and after a year with them, I was eager to figure out my next step forward.
On February 28th I prepared my CV, put together a portfolio of pictures and wrote out a cover letter. I can't even describe the feeling that overwhelmed me on my trek there - I had been waiting for the moment for so long and I felt so confident that I had it in me to charm those present and leave a lasting impression. I got off the streetcar with the biggest grin on my face - only to be stopped by a security guard who was turning people away! They had apparently decided they had seen enough and called it a day. I was so disappointed, but all I remember was thinking 'shit! I have to go make a video to submit RIGHT NOW!'.
I went home and put together my first video.
The following week I figured it would be a good move to go to Much on Demand to drop off my video in person and attempt to meet some of the producers that might be involved in the VJ search. I sat with Caitlin in a sea of teenagers. Right away I knew I was in the right place. These kids all appeared to be growing up way too fast, with too few positive role models to look up to - this VJ opportunity was my way to be there for them, to engage with them, to hear them out, to motivate them and open their minds to the existing world of opportunities before them.
I introduced myself to a few people on set and got to chat with Tim Deegan, who was both frustrated and less than enthused with the result of his VJ experience - to the point of contemplating 'retirement'. I learned that Matt Babel had left for a gig with CP24 and that Hannah Simone was no longer with them, which filled with excitement as I realized they were probably looking for more than one contender.
Two weeks went by and I couldn't bear to sit around without consciously working towards making this happen. I set out to make another video - this time imitating and putting myself into the role of a VJ by introducing videos, by interviewing a band and by further exasperating my deep desire to give them my all in this role.
I plotted and planned it all out, then practiced no less than a hundred (seriously) takes that resulted in my second audition tape.
Again, I decided to attend MOD to show my enthusiasm and potentially discuss with the right contacts. A friend of mine had tipped me off to a charity event taking place after the show, hosted by Sarah Taylor, where all the Much staff would be present - I saw it as another opportunity to schmooze with all the right people and possibly leave a lasting impression. I spent some time with Sarah Taylor, who shared some encouraging words.
The next morning, at work, I finally came upon a long awaited email from Much Music - a call back!! Even writing about this now, I find myself teary-eyed with pride. I wanted it so badly, for all the right reasons, and I went after it. I gave it my all and I pulled it off - such an incredible feeling.
I had to put together two 'throws': Lady Gaga's Love Game and T.I.'s Dead and Gone. I sat in my kitchen, did some research, and wrote out my 30 second throws. It took less than an hour and then I tasked myself with camera practice. THIS WAS NOT EASY! I didn't feel comfortable in front of the camera. I am usually so bubbly and confident and comfortable and uninhibited... and suddenly, this little lens was making me feel outside of myself. I found it so frustrating, but I didn't let it hold me back... practice makes perfect.
I sent these to a group of close, trustworthy friends and asked for feedback, which called for MORE JGB personality. Back to the drawing boards, I came up with this:
In the end, I got the call back for the audition and was told I made it into the top 5. MUCH never ended up choosing anyone for the VJ role and have recently started an online audition process.
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